Thursday, April 30, 2009

Field of Dreams?

This was sent to me today from a smart, Harvard educated, funny, amazing woman who used to be a client…

'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did."
When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better. Concentrate on this sentence... 'The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.'

The point is well taken and it should be tattooed to the inside of my eyelids.

I was forced to the battlefield where the American, cliché, and deeply painful drama of my husband leaving me for a greener pasture, was raging. I had to find the Grace of God.

After a number of terrible weeks, I have turned a corner. The more I read Eckhart Tolle’s “ A New Earth “ the more I recognized I am one lucky gal, mainly because I can "see" and I now have a choice to feel differently about my “story,” because I know my truth.

It’s odd what we tell ourselves, and then what we tell others. The truth lies someplace in between.

Witness’s to crimes all will see invariably something different. But if you are IN the crime, how you tell the story is really how you want others to perceive you. Reality shows like the First 48, are all based around the perpetrators sitting in a room and finding all sorts of ways to lie. It is the cunning detective, merging with the reality of the perpetrator who usually gets them to admit their crimes.

I have to watch how I tell my story so that I no longer am a victim of my circumstances. Casting aspersions on those who forced me to the battlefield wasn’t fair until I had the Pac Bell records of pursuits. When, where, why and how, is of no comfort.

One is frozen in hell until Culpability is embraced.

I can only distinguish my own role, and that is what helped me get out of the pain. I needed to see it all and feel it all.

Telling a “story “ to fabricate fact the way one wants to be perceived, just keeps pushing away the inevitable. Sooner or later the truth will bite you in the ass.

There is nothing courageous about your personal story if it is filled with falsehoods. Those who continue pretend will find their Karmic path riddled with the bones and carcasses of those who stood in their way of the script they are crafting. Any challenge to the story is met with a certain kind of death.

Sooner or later, there will be no one left to buy the “story” and one has to start over and move to greener pastures where the cows are fascinated by the tales of the drifter.

The will of God has taken me to a pasture where I did not want to go, perhaps with truth and the Grace of God to protect me, it could be a Field of Dreams.