Saturday, February 20, 2010

Stand in Gratitude


We don’t learn from winning. We learn from loss.

Yet we try to avoid it as long as possible. Who, we lie to in avoidance of loss, is ourselves. We have recently experienced the lives of sports figures and politicians; lying to cover their shame based behavior, we see they cannot bear to tell the truth for fear of loss.

The loss is a false sense of self, that is who loses the endorsements, the person we all have crafted as an emblem. That very well may not be who the person really is. We as voyeurs can have our annual Schadenfreude opportunity as we watch the mighty fall from puffed up states of grace.

I tried to erect myself as a great partner, wife, and entertainer. When in fact I have had to re evaluate these labels, and because of a karmic intervention I have lost much of who I thought I was. That's the point, who I thought I was, or acted "as if" not who I ultimately am.

Wow, how liberating. I now have great appreciation for what and who assisted me in propelling out of my state of unconsciousness. I stand in gratitude. Of course there is deep disappointment and utter disgust with betrayal, but what a blessing to know the truth and be freed.
Just because I am a psychic, it does not mean I know everything. My sensitivities are used to assist others, but I too, have things to learn, opportunities to reinforce my own intuition and trust that Spirit in its divine wisdom knows better than me.

A friend just had surgery for cancer. She was told by the doctor that her basketball size tumor was cancer, however it was not. During surgery they found it was her female organs underneath the tumor that were cancerous. Had she not developed the tumor she might not have known about the cancer, perhaps not even had surgery. She stands in gratitude.

Another friend is loosing his license to practice medicine because of the actions of his former wife. Her behavior so filled with anger that she used a technicality to strip him of what he held on to so tight his, “degree”, however his license can be reinstate in two years, he could have had a life time with such a nefarious partner. He stands in gratitude.

When the truth of a situation is revealed, no side comes out a real “winner,” there is always loss, in a journey of growth.

When there is damage to a car we have insurance to make the cost less. There is responsibility in proving the offender. Karma is like that too, it is our “insurance’, though invisible, is already rectifying the dis balance.

I have learned through a year of loss that all is in accordance. I can stand in gratitude because I spoke the truth, took responsibility and saw where I was blind. It is grace that allows me to stand between the living and the dead, the light and the shadow.

This is a year of transparency. I must stand in gratitude.
This photo of me (1998) is front of the largest tomb stone markers in Estonia's capital, Tallinn, a foreshadowing of what my life was to reveal as a medium.