Thursday, September 15, 2011

What I Have Learned all these Years

From the beginning.

Getting here wasn't easy.
The sky is blue and sun warm.
I like to laugh.
Big people make decisions for my life.. not sure I like that.
I like things that crunch.
Kitties don't like to swim.
Snow,wind, rain, thunder and Santa are blessings from the sky.
There are things called germs that make me sick.
Other people's homes seem more comfortable.
I want to be one of those women who sell soap on TV.
I love the woods, school, recess.
I run faster than the boys.
I like to sing.
Giving to others makes them happy, I like that.
There is magic that happens when leaves change color.
Music stirs my feet, makes me want to jump, twirl and sing.
Everyone has pain.
I like boys.
I can't wait till I am grown.
Oooh I make mistakes, I say mean things. I am frightened and sad.
I don't have many friends.
Home is a way-station for unhappy people.
I have much anxiety.
I must get away.
There is so much beauty, heartache, suffering in the world.
There is a man named Jesus who people rely on.
There is a voice that tells me things, that guides me.
Prayers are answered.
Sex is not what my mother told me.
Family doesn't mean they like or love you.
A big beautiful home does not mean happiness.
I'm in trouble.
I like telling stories, I don't want to lie so I will do it on Stage.
Everybody has problems.
It takes hard work to  find the boogieman who lurks in the shadows.
It takes hard work to find the truth.
I must tell the truth.
I want to be loved. I might not know how to love.
I know how to care for others, maybe too well.
There is nothing better than thundering up a hill on my horse.
I can take care of myself.
People are mostly loving, mostly.
There is a voice inside that tells me things, guides me. My prayers are answered.
I am a woman who sells soap on TV.
When someone says they love you, it means something different.
It means everything, it means nothing.
Loyalty was a virtue, now it seems like a convenience.
Americans are spoiled.
Americans are blessed.
The dead know what we are doing.
Marriage does not always mean forever.
There are unseen forces that care for us.
Difficult things must be learned.
Deep emotional wounds must be processed or pain is not understood.
The dead talk back.
We can hear them.
I am capable of many things.
Everyone needs help.
Organized religion keeps people feeling special.
History shows us what "special" means in the name of God.
God needs a different PR agent.
There is a voice  that guides me, tells me things for others.
Prayers are answered.
Everyone is intuitive.
People are amazing.
Life is incredible.
There are massive numbers of UFOs surrounding our planet.
There are unidentified structures built on both sides of the moon.
We are blinded until it is time to see.
Being a parent is a mind blowing job.
Not having children is a lesson my soul needed.
Some days that makes me sad.
I don't sell soap on TV any more.
Love comes in all forms.
Judgment is ego. Ego is fear.
We are children practicing to be adults.
God is a personal guidance system.
The process of forgiveness is life.
I know nothing.
I would not trade one moment of all the pain and suffering.
I could not forget the beauty of light upon the earth,
or the sweetness of the leaving.
I wake to remember.
I live to love.
My life is extraordinary.
There is a voice that tells me things for others.
Prayers are answered.
Pain is exquisite when it has merit.
I feel blessed.
I love you.

7 comments:

Donna Shasserre said...

That was beautiful Marla

Annette said...

Marla,

I read this and re-read it 4 more times. Loved it! You need to add however, that you were the best Laurie (and Larry as Curly) for the 1976 high school musical Oklahoma. I knew before then that you were so very talented but that summed it up! So, should I say...STAR? Or maybe TALENTED. Yep, they both should be added to your list!!! :)

John LeFran├žois said...

Marla,

Although I am a smidgen older than you, it's obvious from reading your sensitive introspection that I still have much to learn. Of course they do say that girls learn faster than boys. (Hey! That's my only excuse :-)

Your writing is touching. It's as if you've quoted from an actual diary that you've recently reread - your personal diary of a lifetime's experiences. Thank you for sharing highlights from that journey.

John
....

Patricia said...

Marla,

Yes, that was beautiful! I stop by your website almost daily for any updates and could not just pass through without expressing how deeply your latest blog resonated with me. It was if all my thoughts were pulled out of my mind and just orchestrated on paper, minus a line or two - thank you for sharing :)

Laurence said...

Marla,

This had me ready to write the moment you posted. But I took time to really let this "diary of the soul revealed," sink into my heart.

I am the same age as you, with hurts and scars deep. I just can not find the words to say as of yet. But know this, you touched something in me and I am grateful to know you are here now


Laurence

nancypo said...

How wonderful Marla,
Nancy Boise

Tom said...

Your list of life lessons is something that we should all re-read at least once per week. You are loved, too. Thank you for posting it!